🧡 When Survival Is Criminalized: Abuse, System Failure, and the Breaking Point
By CNADA — Custer Network Against Domestic Abuse
Every time a national or local news headline reads, “Woman kills partner after years of abuse,” the public reaction tends to focus on judgment instead of context.
“Why didn’t she just leave?”
This question ignores the deep reality that victims — especially in rural America — are often trapped by circumstances that leave them with few safe choices, no financial autonomy, and no exit plan.
When someone resorts to lethal force against an abuser, the legal system examines that single moment. But abuse is not a single moment. It is a pattern. A trap. A slow erosion of safety, autonomy, and hope.
This is not about excusing violence. It is about understanding how systemic neglect can create desperation.
Domestic Violence: National and Montana Data
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV):
1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence.
Nearly half of female homicide victims in the U.S. are killed by a current or former partner.
In Montana, the statistics are especially stark:
Montana consistently ranks among the top 5 states for per-capita domestic violence rates.
Firearms are present in the majority of intimate partner homicides, significantly increasing lethality.
In rural counties like Custer, Carter, Powder River, Garfield, Fallon, Rosebud, and Treasure, survivors face greater isolation, fewer shelters, and limited economic options compared with urban areas.
Rural Isolation Isn’t Just Geography — It’s Entrapment
In CNADA’s service area:
Shelters are distant or full.
Public transportation is nonexistent.
Affordable housing is scarce.
Emergency relocation support is minimal.
Jobs with livable wages are limited.
Imagine trying to escape an abuser when:
You don’t have a car.
Your only income is controlled by your partner.
Your children can’t attend childcare you can’t afford.
Every exit feels like homelessness.
This isn’t fear driving choices — it’s survival strategy.
When “Snapping” Is Not What It Seems
Media often describes survivors who kill their abusers as having “snapped.”
But trauma science shows:
Chronic abuse reprograms stress responses.
Survivors live in hypervigilant, fear‑primed states.
Decision‑making becomes about survival, not logic.
Self-defense laws exist — but the legal system’s interpretation of “imminent threat” often doesn’t reflect the lived reality of someone fleeing prolonged violence. Courts may not always allow evidence of cumulative trauma, coercive control, or chronic fear — yet these are core parts of the story.
Systems Fail Before Violence Happens
When:
Shelters are underfunded
Transitional housing doesn’t exist
Jobs pay poverty wages
Legal support is unaffordable
Law enforcement is under-trained in trauma
Protective orders are unevenly enforced
…the real failure isn’t an isolated act — it’s decades of neglect.
No one should feel that killing an abuser is their only path to safety.
But if we want fewer tragedies, we must fix the systems that leave people with no safe exit.
What Must Change — and Why It Matters
🔹 Expand Rural Domestic Violence Funding
Victim support is not a special interest — it is public safety.
Fully fund crisis centers
Emergency cash assistance programs
Wrap-around services including childcare and transportation
🔹 Reform Legal Systems
Judges, prosecutors, and defense attorneys must be trained in:
Trauma science
Coercive control
Battered person syndrome
Rural survival dynamics
Survivors should not face prosecution for actions rooted in documented abuse.
🔹 Build Transitional Housing & Economic Support
Housing is freedom. Jobs are independence. Without them, leaving is theoretical — not real.
🔹 Trauma-Informed Law Enforcement Training
First responders must recognize:
Signs of chronic abuse
How threat perception differs for victims
How to connect survivors with resources
Training saves lives.
Real Voices: Survivor Story
Name changed for safety.
“I left eight times. Each time, the shelters were full. I had no money. I couldn’t find an affordable place to stay with my kids. The job I had was part‑time and barely paid. When I tried to get a protective order, he threatened to take my children. There was no safe exit — only fear.”
This is not an isolated experience — it is a pattern in rural Montana.
A Call to Action: Support CNADA
At CNADA — Custer Network Against Domestic Abuse, we exist to provide immediate help before tragedy happens.
Here’s how you can make a life-saving difference:
💛 Donate
Your support fuels:
Emergency relocation
Security deposits
Gas cards
Childcare assistance
Legal advocacy services
🤝 Partner with Us
Nonprofits, businesses, faith groups, and service agencies — we need collaborative models that expand access and increase reach.
🗣 Advocate
Contact your state representatives to:
Increase funding for rural DV services
Adopt trauma‑informed legal standards
Expand transitional housing programs
📞 Immediate Help
If you or someone you know is in danger, please reach out immediately:
24/7 Crisis Line: 406‑951‑0475 (confidential support available anytime)
Office Line: 406‑234‑0542
Website / Online Resources: www.cnada.org
📣 Share This Message
Changing the public narrative — from “snap” to “system failure” — matters. Awareness, support, and advocacy save lives.